AttorneyMentoring.com Transitions

Transitions

This section of AttorneyMentoring.com deals with managing personal
and career transitions. Transitions can be either voluntary or involuntary.
In our lifetime, we can expect to experience a number of transitions. If we
understand the process of how most transitions unfold, we may be
better equipped to better manage the process and the outcome.

William Bridges wrote the seminal book on managing complex
corporate transitions, Surviving Corporate Transition.
Although the book was written for management, his concepts
have often been adapted for application to managing personal
and professional transitions from the point of view of the
individual. He describes three stages to any transition: an
ending, a neutral zone, and a beginning – in that order.
Bridges’ three stage analysis of transitions starts with the first
stage being characterized by an ending and a sense of loss,
followed by resistance. This loss is characterized as
representing a loss of one or more of the following:
attachments, turf, structure, a future, meaning, or loss of
control. The second stage of a transition, according to
Bridges, is a period of confusion and uncertainty he calls the
neutral zone. And, lastly, transitions end with a new beginning
of some sort where you learn to adapt to the new situation.

Others have described the transition cycle as being
characterized by a cycle of well-being, shock, provisional
adjustment, inner contradictions, inner crisis, reconstruction
and recovery. However you break down the cycle of a
transition, understanding that there is a cycle is key to helping
yourself move to the next stage until you reach the end.

Our resistance to any change in the status quo is what
typically precipitates stress which, in turn, blinds us to the
opportunities that might be present as a result of the
transition. Stress typically creates increased physical and
emotional symptoms that simply aggravate our ability to
integrate the transition into our lives and skews our
perceptions. Often, our ability to go with the flow, so to speak,
will actually create less resistance to the events unfolding and
make the transition quicker and smoother. Furthermore, we
expend a substantial portion of our time and energy worrying
about worst case scenarios rather than focusing on the
present moment and what immediate action, if any, should be
taken.

Scientists estimate that an average person will think at a rate
of approximately 1 to 4 thoughts per second while awake,
representing well over 60,000 thoughts during a typical day.
Interestingly, it is further estimated that over 95% of these
thoughts are not new - they are repeated. So, try and take
note of repetitious worrisome thoughts that yield few solutions
and merely fill your mind with negativity and doubt. Ways to
reducing your negative thoughts include some forms of
meditation, any activity that focuses your mind away from the
negative feelings you might have about the transition,
observing and taking an account of the number of negative
thoughts you have each day on the subject so you can
actively monitor your thought process. It is very important that
you strive to think positively about the outcome. All too often,
we seem to manifest the very object of our fears by sheer
persistent focus to the exclusion of anything else. Be
conscious of the words you use to describe your situation and
stay positive.

If you are having difficulty overcoming your fears and negative
feelings about a transition, try and script the outcome that you
desire. Write it in the present tense as if it is present in your
life today. Each day tweak the description until you are
satisfied - the more detail, the better. Each day thereafter,
spend a few moments rereading the script to yourself to
remind yourself of your goal. The more often you spend time
focused on a positive outcome, the more likely you will adjust
your focus and activities toward that goal.

Some tips to manage your transitions:

Allow yourself to grieve for the initial loss that you
are likely to experience with any transition but try not to
dwell on the past or focus on the loss for too long.

While experiencing a transition, take note of your belief
systems which directly impact your perceptions of the
situation. Make sure that your belief systems continue
to serve you. And, then, check your beliefs and
perceptions with others. Write in a journal your
thoughts and observations. In a study* of people who
had lost their jobs, those that were asked to write in
a journal each day about their feelings and
experiences secured jobs at a faster rate than those
that did not keep a journal.

In order to counter the physical effects of the
stress, make sure you eat well and exercise
regularly. Take sea salt baths. Go for a quick
massage. Meditate. Go play basketball. These
activities help you boost your body's capacity to handle
the stress and release it. Such activities clear your
head of fearful chatter. Whatever activity you choose,
give yourself permission to take a break.

Seek out the emotional support of family and
friends. Do not try and go it alone, if at all possible. If
you need expert help, get it. Avoid major decisions
during the initial and middle periods of any transition.

Release your attachment to the status quo -
although it may be easier said than done. But, nothing
new can come into your life unless you are prepared to
move on. Just like clearing out your closet of old
clothes that no longer fit you so you can buy brand new
ones, you need to make room for new activities,
persons and ideas to come into your life.

Remain positive. By all means express your fears but
do not dwell there. A great quote I recently heard
attributed to Black Hawk Down Pilot Michael Durant was
"Look back, but don't stare." Living in the past serves
little purpose to addressing your situation today. Try
and avoid negativity whenever possible.

Create something to look forward to. Treat
yourself to a vacation, a makeover, a gift or special
dinner, etc. Ritual has been known to be an important
symbol to creating closure.

Finally, remember that every transition is like a tunnel - the
only way to get to the other side is to walk through it.

*Expressive Writing and Coping with Job Loss, Stefanie P. Spera, Eric D.
Buhrfeind, James W. Pennebaker (Academy of Management Journal,
Vol. 37, No. 3 (Jun., 1994)).

Lose Your Job?

Below is a checklist of action items and
resources for you if you have been terminated.

1.        Explore whether you are entitled to any
post-termination benefits, such as severance,
out-placement services, health insurance
continuation coverage, continued use of phone
and office for a period of time.
2.        Update your resume and hire a
professional consultant, if necessary, to help you
or check out AM’s free resume review service.
3.        Review your finances (including the
liquidity of your investments) and adjust your
discretionary expenses accordingly. Check our
Resources section below for a personal budget
worksheet to help you get started. Determine
whether you are eligible for unemployment
insurance. If you own your own home, you may
be able to arrange for reduced payments or
forbearance for a period of time with your
mortgage company. Some mortgage
companies have formal programs for job loss
situations. Determine whether you ever
purchased job loss insurance coverage either
through your credit cards or mortgage company.
4.        Stop and identify your personal and
professional goals before diving right into a
panic-driven job search which can waste
precious time in unfocused activity. Create an
action plan that helps you maintain a routine but
allows for some break to release your stress
and negative energy. Remember to take a break
from the job search or else your stress levels will
likely increase and you will be less effective
when you do go on interviews.
5.        If you begin to feel down and experience
low self-esteem, try talking yourself out of it by
making positive statements about all of your
prior achievements. If you have managed to get
through law school and pass the Bar, you can
start with that! Refrain from any stimulants such
as coffee, alcohol or drugs which merely reduce
your ability to think clearly and/or can become
habit forming during periods of depression.
Visualize the perfect job opportunity for at least 5
minutes each day or script it out in a journal. It
helps remind you of what is important to you in
your job selection as well as focuses your
energy toward your goal.

6.        Create an action plan that includes:

a. A list of colleagues and friends to

network with (avoid luncheons and

dinners and stick to breakfasts and

coffee to avoid added expense).

b. Contacting former employers for

references.

c. Registering with placement

agencies that specialize in your field as

well as in complementary practice

areas.

Check out AM's

Temp Corner

for

the

scoop on temporary work.

d. Registering on online legal job

search sites where you can sign up for

email alerts on new job openings based

upon your search criteria. Check out our

Resources section below for some

suggestions.

e. Contacting your Bar Association

for

resources and job banks.

f. Setting some reasonable goals for

yourself to keep your job search on track.

Job loss is never easy and it is often completely
outside of your control. However, you can control
your reaction. A positive outlook will always win
the day in an interview, in a networking function,
or just as a personal motivating tool. Although
you may not always be able to avoid frequent
lapses back into mourning for your old job or
income, positive self-reinforcement or
affirmations at the beginning of each day help
set the expectation for that day. Even if you
received constructive criticism as part of your
termination, turn this into an action item. Focus
on improving your skills in lieu of complaining
about how unfairly you were treated: take some
relevant CLE or other training to address the
issue, volunteer to add to your skill set, hire a
coach or job counselor. The key is to take some
positive action in the direction of resolving the
issue.

Finally, job searches may very well take longer
than you expect, so do not loose heart. It may
take some time to find the right job and you need
to maintain a determined and focused attitude
and eventually you will succeed in finding
another suitable position.